The Second Wind Of Passion

The Second Wind Of Passion

“I wish I could “delete” my future as easily as you “delete” an email. I wish I could block the sorrow in my heart the way you block a person on the Internet. I’m sick of giving love & receiving hate. I’m sick of apologizing & not being forgiven. I’m sick of being alive when my family is dead. I’m sick of being on the outside looking in. I’m sick of watching the country being destroyed and at the end of the day money and fame trumps God & human decency. People can’t even be kind to one another anymore. What have we become?

I have had so many tragedies in my life. I am broken beyond repair, mortally wounded. I’m beginning to feel that nothing good will ever happen. I wake up everyday punching a metaphorical time clock on this Earth waiting for the time I can return to God.”

^I wrote that a week or so ago, around the September 11th anniversary. This has been an extremely hard year for me. They have all been hard years but my spirit stayed strong until this year. People use to tell me I inspired them and gave them strength because of my optimism through any struggle. I think this was the year my spirit finally gave in and broke. That’s why I can relate to the article below. I’m at a stage right now where I need a second wind of passion in the romance that is life.- Alexis

( From the Internet, author unknown, posted on thought catalog & brightside)

We found an article which presents an unusual perspective for dealing with tiredness. We recommend that you take a deep breath, read it — and follow its advice.

’I know what it’s like to feel tired — and not just in the physical sense.

The world that we live in is an exhausting place to be. It is wearing. It is thankless. It is endlessly trying and scarcely rewarding. You’re tired simply because you live in it. You’re tired of loving too much, caring too much, giving too much to a world that never gives anything back. You are tired of investing in indefinite outcomes. You’re tired of uncertainties. Tired of grey.

I know you haven’t always been this worn out — that there was a time when you were hopeful and pure. When your optimism outweighed your cynicism and you had an infinite amount in you to give. I know you have been chipped away and worn down piece by piece — a broken heart here and an un-kept promise there. I know the world hasn’t always been kind throughout the games you’ve played and that you’ve lost more times than you have ever won. I know you’re feeling uninspired to try again. I know.

Because the truth is, we’re all tired. Every single one of us. By a certain age, we are all nothing more than an army of broken hearts and aching souls, desperately searching for fulfillment. We want more but we’re too tired to ask for it. We’re sick of where we are but we are too scared to begin again. We need to take risks but we’re afraid to watch it all come crashing down around us. After all, we’re not sure how many times we will be able to start over.

We all think we’re alone in our exhaustion. But the truth is we’re tired of each other — tired of the games we play and the lies we tell and the uncertainties we present to each other. We don’t want to play the villain but we don’t want to play the fool either. So our guards go up. Our defenses rile. And we take on the role that we loathe to see played because we’re not sure what choice we have left.

I know how impossible it can feel to go on trying and giving and becoming when you are exhausted straight through to the soul. I know that the cheerful ideals you were once promised now seem tired and hopeless. But here’s what I beg if you’re this close to giving up: give it one more try, with feeling. I know you’re tired of your attempts. I know that you’re at your wit’s end. But the truth about that second wind of passion is that you’re never going to realize you have it if you do not keep on running past your first.

We’re all more resilient than we think, and that’s an indisputable truth. There is always more love that we are capable of giving, more hope that we are capable of having, more passion that we’re capable of unleashing and flooding out into the world. We just don’t walk far enough down our own roads to reach the point where we’re seeing those actions pay off. We want immediate results and when we see none, we give up. We let the exhaustion stop us. We grow frustrated with the lack of feedback and we assume that means we have to throw the entire attempt right out the window.

Because here’s something we all loathe to admit — none of us are inspired every day. We all get exhausted. We all get discouraged. And we’re allowed to work on through those feelings. Just because you’re beaten down and worn out and sick of the life that you’re living doesn’t mean you’re not making a change. Every person you have ever admired has had times where they felt utterly defeated in the pursuit of their dreams. But that didn’t prevent them from reaching them. You’re allowed to stumble slowly towards your biggest transformations. It doesn’t always have to be a blazing, flagrant affair.

Some parts of life happen quietly. They happen slowly. They happen because of the small, careful choices that we make everyday, that turn us into better versions of ourselves. We have to allow ourselves the time to let those alterations happen. To watch them evolve. To not grow hopelessly frustrated in the in-between.

When you’re tired, go slowly. Go quietly. Go timidly. But do not stop. You are tired for all the right reasons. You are tired because you’re supposed to be. You’re tired because you’re making a change. You are exhausted for all the right reasons and it’s only an indication to go on. You are tired because you’re growing. And someday that growth will give way to the exact rejuvenation that you need.’

http://brightside.me/article/read-this-when-youre-tired-of-everything-20255/

Comments

  1. Sweetie, life will knock you down at times. Remember what rocky Marciano said, “It’s not how many times you get knocked down to the mat what counts. What counts is, how many times you get back up”. You’re young, you’re gorgeous, you’re intelligent. Bring the strength up from within you. Everyone was born with it, it’s in our DNA from previous generation. We are all, children of survivors. I can recall times, more than a few, when I thought my life was over, under attack by superior number of enemy troops, then something inside just went into motion, and much of it I cannot recall ever happening if not for everyone that was there, witnessing and retelling. Same on the streets. It is, inside of you. Do NOT, focus on your weakness or self-pity. Forward; Ever Forward. Determine yourself to toughen up. There is a specific need for everything you do. Look at yourself from the outside ring, and list your concerns, then, list your strengths. Many small things will outnumber your woes. Heap on top of that, your major victories. Tenacity. Motivation. Start growling! The mundane, is your respite. The pukes would love it if you went belly-up and went away. NO DAMNED WAY. Get back up. Get back, up.

    • Brittius,
      Thank you for your long, well thought out, heartfelt comment!!! I greatly appreciate it!! You are a good friend. You think like a coach and your kind words mean a great deal to me. It’s not so much my enemies who bother me. I can handle them. Oftentimes it is people who should be on our side who discourage us the worst. You are right though. Tenacity and persistence are the only way to achieve victory. I will try to stay my course. God bless you my dear friend.

  2. I agree with Brittius. Since boxing is being used metaphorically I will add, be relentless, never let up, never let your foe know when your hurt, never drop your Garud, bob and weave, side to side, cycle around, allow your apponent to swing and miss then capitalize upon your opponents mistakes. If you should get knock down get right up shake it off. The fight doesn’t end until one gives up or is out for the count, in any case you will be respected for giving it your all.
    G-D is in you corner and so is iamyournot.

    • Good point. bob & weave. Never give up! Thank you so much for your encouragement and your friendship. It means so much to me! ❤ {{HUGS}}

    • …And when your opponent is not expecting it but you see the opening, fire-off a punch pulled from your hips and put your back and thighs into it. Don’t just aim for them, aim for the imaginary opponent standing immediately behind them. Drive through. Then if they are still standing, let them see the fire in your eyes. Determination.

  3. I second all that.
    I recently read Psalm 40, written by a man who raised an army with which he would kill the king and take the kingdom. During a brief period of shallow victory, the rebellious child even flaunted his supposed victory by bonking his father’s concubines in public, on the roof. Then, when the king won back his power, his grief over his son’s death overwhelmed the king.
    It took General Joab (who more than once gave the king good advice) to slap the king around with a verbal General Patton remedy, 2 Samuel 19: 1-7, and things turned back to what was considered normal with them.
    Jesus told us that no man (I don’t hear feminists crying because “no man or woman” was not used), is good. Family, friends… As flawed people, we are to forgive one another 7 times 70 times a day. I know, you have known all this for a long time, this just a reminder. There will always be differences of opinion between all of us who mean each other well. We must keep our focus on God and listen to others without letting them stop us in His work.
    Praise God, Baruch HaShem!

    • Second sentence needs correction: “who raised an army” should read, “whose son raised an army”.

    • Hi Marble,
      Thank you for the Biblical perspective. You are a sweetie. I appreciate your nice comment. I love all my Internet friends. You guys & gals give great pep talks. It’s worrisome when you see what has happened to this country. We just have to find the strength to keep going every day & fight back. Thanks so much for your words!!! Truly!

      God bless!

  4. Thank you for sharing. I needed to read this today.

  5. Alexis,
    My heart goes out to you. I can sense the pain in your words. I hope you are taking good care of yourself and doing whatever you need to revive your spirit and rejuvenate your passionate and sterling self.
    I sincerely apologize if anything I have written here has added to your burden. I love you like a sister.
    God Bless and you are in my prayers.

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